i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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