Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
