Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
