Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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