He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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