There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
