Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
