..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Panties = found
Randomize
