we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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