I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
