I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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