I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
