you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize