ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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