So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
