I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
