god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
