I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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