Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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