Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
