went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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