i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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