Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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