yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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