I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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