Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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