Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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