Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize