that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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