We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize