I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
