Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
