so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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