Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
