You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
