forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
