ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
