Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
