I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
