im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize