he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize