About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
