In the future we'll all be gay
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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