i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize