I'm drive I can fine osifer
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
