chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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