Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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