we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize