Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
