If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
