it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
