I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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