I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize