we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
