I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize