I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
