how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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