I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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