are you still at the devil's house?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
