Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Mom said you looked used
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
