this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
