I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
