I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
